Despite being at the age where we should do dinner parties, I've always avoided them wherever possible. Not just hosting, but attending as well.
It's not that I'm anti social, it's just something we've not really ventured into ourselves or actually been invited to that often!
The second dinner party of my life reinforced my gut feeling of avoid, decline and make an excuse.
It was sold to me as a wine and tapas night. I love tapas and this time my gut said feed me, get drunk and find some jeans that fit.
In the run up it was changed to wine and meze with the promise if moussaka. I was still in and even getting enthusiastic. I asked if beans on toast at 5pm would be necessary, as there was a large number going, but I was assured, there'd be plenty to meet my gargantuan appetite.
As it turned out, my appetite was proven to be gargantuan. A bit of feta, spinach and ricotta fillo's were nibbled on and I was soon discretely asking when the moussaka was coming up. Thirty minutes and I could fill my boots.
Literally. I was in the other room when my moussaka hit the floor.
Much laughter came from the kitchen along with an invite to view my moussaka. Which I thought was a bit odd. I didn't care what it looked like, I was starving and drunk!
I was met with a plate repeatedly thrust at me with the mantra "it's ok, I mopped the floor today!! Just eat it!"
Erm no. I can't. It's not a haribo subject to the three second rule. It's a plate of food off the floor.
I looked at "chef's" wife for assistance but she pretty much couldn't breathe for laughing, not only at Chef's attempt to feed me but at my horrified face. (think Miss Harbourne off Ladette to Lady)
I was really uneasy about offending Chef, who afterall, had driven to the restaurant to collect the dishes he'd promised to make some three weeks ago! After quick consideration, I risked losing a friend so as not to eat off the floor.
Turns out I wasn't expected to eat it, it was purely for comedy value. Or at least that's what Chef's claiming!
You wouldn't. Would you?
I certainly wouldn't. I'd book a holiday to avoid another dinner party but I don't expect I'll be invited again!!